I just changed my avatar to a new toon style one.

Here it is with a pic of me to compare…

** WARNING MAY INDUCE LAUGHTER ***

And here it is in Twitter

And here are a few more I have supplied people with: -

Joost

Rob Kerry

If you want one let me know and ill give you a price @seoidiot

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Julie Joyce tagged me over at  SEO-chicks to join the fun in the “7 odd and interesting things about me” meme.

Normally I dont rise to these things but Ill never get a birthday present at this rate unless I play along

So, here goes

1. I met my wife dancing on a podium
It was the early 90’s and it was ME on the poduim. Anyone who has met me will now be wiping the coffee off their monitor or will be in the fetal position on the floor making whooping noises.
It was the 90’s and dance music was king, I do enjoy a wiggle and used to spend 8 hours a night on various podiums, barrels or stages.
Its a scary mental picture I know.

2. I have a hiatus hernia
Where your oesophagus meets your stomach you have a valve, well you do – I dont. It doesnt make much difference to me except I cant drink spirits or wine.
I assume the valve broke somewhere in the chemically enhanced 90’s or the alcohol abusing late 80’s
The doc says I have to take a tablet everyday but I never do…

The last time I had it checked by camera the nurse told me I was the only person who struggled to swallow the camera tube all the way down my throat yet chuckled throughout. Hey at least I know Gay Porn is a career I would be crap at!

3. I have a scold on my arm
This is sounding like an insurance claim, another of my defects anyway. I was scolded badly on my arm aged 2 and even today you can still see it if you look closely on my wrists.

4. I was once a professional cartoonist
This may be stretching it a little but between college and university I made my money by doing cartoons and adverts for local businesses. I have even done cartoons for someone who worked at Disney.
Heres a pencil doodle I did tonight waiting for my daughter to finish school.

5. I am a fairly decent cook
I have been the main catering department in wherever I lived since I was about 14. I feed my family on a food budget of £140 a month and that means we eat…

Fresh food, well cooked and without waste.

6. I spent nearly 15 years as a face to face salesman
I was and am still comfortable standing in front of someone selling a product. I think I was pretty good at it and I hope its helped me in my online stuff too.

If anyone needs to know I can still specify what grinding wheels to use for most jobs (Thankfully nobody ever asks)

7. I would like to move to the USA and then Italy
I love Italy and will retire there (Sandra and I are committed and planning that already).
I really enjoy the visits we have made to the USA and I have toyed with the idea of selling all our property here (I have 2 houses) and moving us all out to California.
I sometimes spend a spare few minutes doing the survey at Find Your Spot but it always suggests somewhere dodgy looking. Id like the opportunity to see if I could build a business over there one day.

OK thats it! And I didnt mention any of the really embarrassing stuff

Now to tag some more poor people: -

Dean Hunt
Niall Harbison
Paul Humphreys
Rob Kerry
Dave Naylor

UPDATE – and @halfdeck just because im curious

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Well the seat is more comfy and its a macbook on my lap and its not quite as messy but you get the general idea…

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This post is really aimed at one person – Greg (Keniki)

For months now you have been posting comments on this blog and a few others and to be frank I am starting to get a bit worried by them. Some of them elsewhere have, at best, bordered on illegal and at worst been illegal – here however they have been a little random.

You have asked me to remove comments on many occasions, which I have always done and I have always remained civil and friendly in my replies. I do now feel that you need to look carefully with what you post and how it looks to everyone else and I dont think ill be removing comments in future – if you think youll regret what you are about to post please refrain from posting it in the first place.

Just so we can see what I am talking about heres the log of comments from Keniki on SEOidiot.com: -

Keniki
Date: – 2007-05-26 01:01:46

“ I came here and what? saw an ip list you want me to start producing ip lists as well no problem? You have no debate and no answer to me. ”

Keniki
Date: – 2007-07-26 01:42:19

“ I must say Seo Idiot, I do like your cartoons. Hey I’ll bounce back but will probably be walking away from the web next month once I finished the fix. Take some time off and go surfing. ”

Keniki
Date: – 2007-07-26 01:51:54

“ …for a few years ”

Keniki
Date: – 2007-07-26 02:21:12

“ So you guys won, even if I bring back the site’s attacked you won because I don’t want to work on the internet anymore. Its a new generation and you do things that I just won’t compete with. I won’t set out to destroy other websites even though I know they are doing this to me. I can track you expose you slag you off and sound off at SE’s for not stopping it. But I draw the line at attacking back although I could do it better than anyone you have. I’ll walk away from the net once the protection system is complete. Once fully tested I’ll release it open source. ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-07-27 01:45:59

“ Well if I got shot next week I rekon there would be about 10,000 possible suspects… You know the line. Is there anyone Keniki could have upset? Happy to say Matt Cutts is in the clear. ”

Keniki
Date: – 2007-08-21 02:10:05

“ Ersun is just pissed because I outed his company “MEMSET”, keniki.com will take all liability for lawsuits. ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-02 22:33:42

“ Just go to doubleclick Paul they advertise on any old shit, hijacked pages no problem we’re advertise with you, scraped content hey no problem we’re advertise with its not as if we’re google is it……..er yes you are now doubleclick… ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-02 23:55:06

“ opps forgot to add keniki is part of the fuckblackhats3 group of communities admittedly its just three people that work together now but hey from small acorns…….. ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-03 00:03:01

“ You know we have a script that will defend all apache users worldwide from all forms of hijack scraping mail bots etc. We are trying to get google to agree to look at it and distribute it. ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-03 00:15:37

“ I know what your thinking, it don’t matter we have api’s from google yahoo and ask, api’s from google without ajax beeing tracked and dealt with yahoo and ask will just be banned untill they change there ways. As sites continue to ban yahoo and ask they will become useless search engines and go bust. ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-04 06:52:22

“ Paul I like you, 1) because you are creative and have a good sense of humour. 2) because deep down you know sabotagueing other peoples sites is wrong and unlike ersun who is happy to try to ruin other websites and posts himself as the gimp from pulp fiction you have something to offer. Paul you are witty , artistic and know how to build a website. I think you can build sites that show all the good aspects of you to the world. You don’t need syndk8 you don’t need any of this shit. Why because you can create content people would like to read. Black hats survive off stealing other peoples content. Mostly because they are people like ersun with a personality failure. And are unable to create unique ideas for themselves. You howether do not fall into this category and I urge you to walk away from black hat seo and use your skills to create commercial and fun websites that add value to the internet. Then I am sure google would welcome you with open arms as an advertiser. Keniki ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-04 07:11:20

“ Let me tell you something Paul, I recently took a site from position 300 to position 3 on its target keyword (very competitive even google themselves compete on it). Without a single link added to the site………… So google if you think I am adding links your mistaken, its called google bowling…… ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-04 07:37:42

“ Who am I to lecture you? I am giving advice but this year I have sold over of 7 million pounds worth of goods online. Small fry compared to the big boys but not bad off an idea and a couple of website’s I created off freeware… I also employ 48 people in uk. We let twenty go this year largely due to saboutage of our websites. Perhaps those jobs are now filled by interntet companies abroad. Those uk jobs have gone to other countries because uk black hat seo sabotaging established sites in uk. Ersun wouldn’t give a toss about that he still be changing into the gimp pvc suit to attack another uk internet company and cause more loss of jobs in uk to benefit some internet companies in the east that pay there staff $1 a week. Keniki ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-06 00:01:26

“ Withdrawing all comments on Ersun, be gratefull if you could remove comments Paul. Had a long chat with Ersun last night and he is making a fresh start creatively. I believe he is a very talented guy and look forward to seeing what he can “create” in future. I reckon this guy(he hates me calling him kid) if focussed correctly can create some fantastic original websites and beieve he is with the right people to help do this. My best wishes go with him. I am totally made up that he has choosen a creative path. Keniki ”

keniki
Date: – 2007-11-06 00:22:37

“ Now how about you Paul ready to turn your back on the black hat bullshit? ”

Then we see that he decides to change his name to Everything you do – for some reason.

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-20 02:46:54

“ Ersun the fix is in. You can do nothing and you know it. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-20 02:51:06

“ The fix was ip detection user agent detection from those two factors complete protection was created and we reverse and forward dns user agents against ip by the way. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-20 02:58:47

“ I will release a new site in febuary that uses complete protection. It will evan email google,yahoo,ask and msn when a attempt to scrape the site happens and there ip address. Checkmate. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-23 00:01:28

“ Ah keniki is dead for four years. Yeah been busy Paul and very very pleased with protection. No referrers used so its full proof all server side code. Yep I am proud of it. Image protection all server side as well. Api abuse protection. Evan though I say it myself its excellent code…..and preserves accessibility. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-23 00:38:27

“ The other great thing is there is a silent detect of abuse. A site will be launched with this protection in Febuary. By the way sold up other interests in several sites and banked some money. Now I am very hungry for new markets that require an honest spin and sites that febuary launch will prove are untouchable from black hat seo. Cheers ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-23 01:34:56

“ Seo idiot I have spoke with a lott of people holding domains for other people online one guy “Miles” had this kid registering over 300 domains for this experienced “ksearch” seo in his name. Why are these so called black hat seo’s so scared to register a domain? ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-23 01:54:51

“ Its easy to talk directly and without emotion as there is no longer any fear from black hat seo for me. Definition : Black Hat Seo is a deliderate attempt to sabotage another website. My sites will from now on be untouchable and I can go back to work. Evan though I know black hat techniques (to create protection you learn enemy) I will never deliberatelty damage a competitor website. That would be dishonest and I would gain no feeling of achievement from that. I can beat black hat honestly now so I’ll just do that. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 01:46:24

“ Like I said keniki is dead, it died the day blackhat got cured. I am always glad I amuse you ersun and hey for the record you taught me a hard lesson but I respect you for that and it was a lesson I needed to learn. Now where would be the fun in posting the url? ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 01:49:04

“ I’ll give you a clue “Need a loan?” ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 02:59:28

“ Call me “gameover” if you don’t like “Evertything you do” ersun. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 03:39:31

“ I checked out on the web this is your safe home. No longer so Ersun I think your a prick and I seen personaly how you threatened the host here and I hope he backs me saying fuck off you vile piece of scum. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 03:54:01

“ and thats keeping it friendly south london style. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 04:01:38

“ You know where I am from where noone ever wins there is no escape, but I did and people defend those who escape with passion when I say some middleclass kid is causing me a problem. They offer a xxxxxxxxx solution. ”

Evertything you do
Date: – 2008-01-25 04:05:10

“ of course I always refuse it. ”

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Many thanks to everyone who commented with suggestions on what I should write about this year, heres some of those suggestions and my responses / commitments for the coming months: -

Dave said:
Off the top of my head, you could show us an old example of one of your TV show sites. Just something a US newb like me could learn from.
Always, always, always: relevant traffic generation. I don’t care if its whitehat, gray, black, or blue.

I would love to run through an example – let me see what I can put together.

Chris said:
That is pretty much the stuff that anybody wants i guess. but that just shows that there are not so many good articles about it.
here it comes:
a step by step description of what you would do to start a simple project.
something like,
- where do you get your keywords and how do you choose them
- do use any tools if so which ones?
- …
i would really appreciate something like that.

I think a starter post on how I decide what to go after and how I choose things would be good too

Jason said:
I’ll take advantage of this since I got your email and normally I don’t bother with emails, but I thought I would give it a shot.

1. Adsense Targeting. I know people hate Adsense for the most part and tell you to get away from it, but I mostly build grayish white sites and can do them fast. However, I have problems with adsense getting me the right ads, even with a site/page fully optimized for a set of terms.

2. Keyword selection. I’m looking for some good tips. I pull my keywords from about 17 different sources with my own PHP script, but I am looking for the good keyword examples, like keywords with “buy, store, discount, coupons, etc.. ” What are the best “trigger” words to go with your keywords

3. Sites or ideas that: make money quickly ( fast burn ) vs. sites that make money long term and examples. This should be a weekly series. It would be awesome to follow someone each week was they do a “fast money site” and a “long term money site” and explain the differences of each.

4. Traffic. Whats the best places in general to get traffic ( drop links )? Please don’t be like everyone else and say ‘relevant authority sites’, what about a list of “here are some generally easy but good places to quickly drop a link” and why they are good ( indexing or traffic or link juice ).

Whoa thats a lot to go at there Jason… but some really great ideas thanks.
Adsense targetting – think I have covered that before but I will happily go over it again with some examples of it in action.
Keyword selection – tough one but I will do my best to work out what works for me and share that. Trigger words is more of an Aff thing in my opinion and targetted niche is more of an Adsense thing.
Fast v Slow – Yeah would be nice to put some numbers against these I think – whats fast and why, how fast is a fast burn. When building slow whats the timescale to start seeing some results? etc etc
Traffic generation – I hope to do some examples of traditional traffic v new social methods.

Chris said:

Hey,
I’d be more interested in hearing about the administrative side of your campaigns/link building.
What procedures do you have in place for tracking and logging all your link related data etc.

I have a bit of a stats habit I am afraid and I use simple data extracts and Excel to crunch the numbers. I would however love to do some posts about link aquisition and specifics on thinsg like link volume and pace as I know that I differ there compared to most people doing this type of thing

Garrett said:

I’m interested in hearing more about tips/tricks for automating tasks. For example, favorite scripts or tools that make your daily webmaster life easier (ie. link building/checking, competitor research, keyword development, etc.).

Maybe ill try to put together some simple scripts that could be used for that and also share some simple tips on where to get the data and how. Id also like to do some tutorials on scraping from a basic perspective (Watch for the Esrun taking the piss comment below – he knows how crappy my code is!)

Dink said:

When are you gonna do another Matt Cutts link juice cartoon?

Yeah I should do a few more link baits cartoons, maybe someone like Calcanis next time ?

Remember if you have any specific requests – get in touch

Thanks to you all again, some great ideas for me to go at there – look forward to writing the posts now!

Paul

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Mick sent me a link to this – its a great cartoon… better than mine are – im gonna have to raise my game i think. I also love the idea of giving cartoons to people for links back…. i better do some of that too… anyway love these two toons

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So at last I got off my lazy ass and did a new one… this is sort of a teaser for toons to come… yes its still lame, yes its still inkbait but hey what are you gonna do eh?

I have been kinda busy sorting my stuff out since the last one got me canned from Adsense, lets see what damage this one will do

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Thanks for the mention stuntdbl. I think you may very soon be appearing in the seo cartoon hall of fame

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Just a quick note to say that I am struggling under the requests for free cartoons at the moment. Whilst im happy to help where I can for links or favours the volume of requests in the last week has been crazy.

I spent about 4 hours last night just doing cartoons for people when really I should be building sites again…

I try to help but I dont have enough time to do them all… sorry

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OK heres a simple summary of what happened for all who want to know. And yes that button is there for a reason..

I have been doing Adsense publishing for 18months without any problems. I produce sites that in the main have some value.

I have always also done cartoons for fun and it seemed logical that doing a cartoon about seo and adsense would be fun. Matt Cutts of Google had seen a few doodles I had done of him and always said that my original effort looked a bit wierd. So it seemed obvious that he would make a good subject of my first seo cartoon strip.

The strip portrayed Matt as a spam fighting super hero stopping two well known uk spammers and all in all was positive to him. It was picked up on Threadwatch and even Matt Cutts commented that it was ‘a hoot’.

However less than 30 minutes later i got the dreaded email telling me my account had been banned for ‘invalid clicks’. I have NEVER CLICKED ON MY OWN ADS so I appealed.

36 hours later Google have denied my appeal and any further appeals.

They keep my money, all my sites are now without revenue streams and there is nothing anyone can do. Unless you have serious clickfraud detection and prevention in place dont expect that it couldnt happen to you…

If its a coincidence its a very spooky one……

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